the controversy surrounding the safety of maple bats intensified as tests conducted by colorado shortstop troy tulowitzki proved that maple bats are not suitable for use in clubhouse tunnel tantrums.

after being removed from friday night’s rockies game during a double-switch, tulowitzki smashed a maple bat in the clubhouse tunnel floor, causing the bat to shatter and cut his hand, resulting in 16 stitches to his right hand and a spot on the witness list in the great “maple bat trial of 2008″.

“It’s definitely a lesson learned,” Tulowitzki said. “I need to control myself better. To pound a bat into the ground, it was the wrong thing to do. Next time I’ll handle the situation differently.”

NotFullofWitzki was batting just .166 at the time of the accident.  we were unable to confirm a rumor that he missed the floor the first seven times he attempted to break the bat.

[photo credit]

[image via MAVRIXONLINE]

when we say freakazoid…..we mean a good thing!

as reports of who’s zooming whom in the gayrod/madonner/cuntrod/lennykravtiz love….ummm….square….continue to rage on, it’s important to remember that madonner is an absolute freak between the sheets.

here’s some retro nude madonner from 1992.  that’s some hot shit.

[image via MAVRIX]

just a reminder.

megan fox.

single.

won’t last long.

act now.

hey, if hot dog eating can be a sport, why not racehorse tit-munching?  (all those in favor,…….)

anywho, not much of a story here (which is good, cause i’m not much of a writer)….

….simply a picture of prince charles fuck-buddy wife camilla parker-bowles, the duchess of cornholewall having her funbags confused for feedbags whilst visiting The Royal Show at Stoneleigh Park, Warwickshire.

we appreciate her playing along by making her orgasm face.

[image via ABACAUSA]

everyone has to be good at something.  (yeah, yeah…we’re still looking….good one!)

joey “jaws” chestnut (shown here on the verge of a major hurl) is really good at sucking wieners.

not those, wieners, pervo.

chestnut went to overtime against arch-rival, takeru kobayashi, to defend his title at the coney island hot dog eating contest.

[images via WENN]

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“wtf?”, asked thegasman when we suggested we write this story.

“has our moral degeneracy reached a newly low and abusrd level?, he demanded.

“just because we want to party like hugh heffner doesn’t mean we should be posting snatch!”, he suggested.

indeed, we replied.  indeed.

[images via WENN]

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